Taking radical responsibility
Recently, I read this article and learned that parentified children grow up to become adults with a skewed relationship to responsibility. This is because of the developmentally inappropriate size of the responsibilities which were placed on them as children. In adulthood, this often looks like someone who takes too much responsibility for the things that aren't theirs, and not enough responsibility for the things that are theirs to take responsibility for.
I read that and hated it, because I saw myself in it.
What it's also been making me realize is… I think I know enough about myself know. I think I've spent enough time examining my childhood, my past traumas, the society I live in, the systems working both for and against me, and I have enough information about why I am. I simply don't care anymore.
What I actually want to do is take radical responsibility for every single part of my life--even with the knowledge of the outside factors I can't control and the events of the past which can't be undone, and the gigantic systems of corruption working endlessly to keep us all under their thumbs. Even with all of that knowledge, I still want to embrace radical responsibility.
What's funny about the word “radical” is how it's often misconstrued as meaning something crazy or “out there” or super unconventional, but etymologically speaking, to be radical just means to be rooted. It means “coming from the root,” and I want to address the root of things in my life. It doesn't mean I need to keep digging into all of the situations and circumstances which have made me the way I am; I want to instead start taking action on the things I can control and owning 100% of the situations I find myself in. It means that when I find myself in hell, I am now asking myself “how exactly did I construct this hell for myself?”
In order to take radically rooted responsibility, you have to have a way of working with your shame. All of this responsibility sours very quickly into shame spirals and self-flagellation when there's not a skillset or a process you can rely on to carry yourself through the uncomfortable parts of responsibility. When you lack these tools or skills to process your shame, taking responsibility can activate a vicious cycle of self-blame, which actually will propel you further away from taking radical responsibility.
If you find yourself on a similar journey lately, or maybe you're just feeling fed up with the way you talk to yourself and handle your responsibilities lately, the Rite of the Phoenix ritual tomorrow is absolutely for you. We will be led by Megan Griffith through a process of setting aflame old shame narratives you've been holding onto, and bravely rebirthing these narratives so they can imbue you with self-trust and personal power.
We meet at 11 am PST tomorrow, August 1st, inside The Mycelial Network. This workshop is available for all tiers. I would love to have you there.
